- Glitters Film Academy

1

Are you prepared to work for nothing?

Always. That’s what I have to do when I start. People need to see my work
Never. I am so good that I shall be making money every time I perform so this question is irrelevant.
As long as my girlfriend/boyfriend/mother supports me
The art of acting does not need money to sully it. I would pay to act if it meant I could act
Only dicks work for nothing
2

Would you bare your soul to get into the essence of a part?

Always. Soul baring is real. To fake soul baring would be to negate myself as an artiste
No need I am such a good actor people will think I’m baring it
Can’t be bothered. I can just skim the surface and it’ll still be good
Ooh dear that sounds scary and vulnerable. I don’t do ‘vulnerable’
My soul is bare now
3

Would you spend four hours in make up to become a character that is wearing a prosthetic alien mask?

1.Of course. Every character has worth even the covered up ones so no one knows it’s me
Ridiculous. How will I get follow up work if no one knows it’s me? Never.
I’m allergic to plastic
Depends on how many lines he has
How much for?
I’d like to look at the mask first before making a decision
4

Would you stand in the same position for one hour without moving just to deliver one line?

Depends on what the line was
You gotta be kidding me! .
I would stand on flaming coals to act in anything
I’ve got a twitch and can’t do it
Yes I would love the discipline of trying not to move and then revealing myself as not a statue after all but an actor of real flesh and bone. I would revel in the actor’s craft
5

Would you be prepared to not work despite knowing in your heart of hearts that you are deeply talented?

Yes I would wait for my break to come. It will come. It will
No I would give myself a few months and if nothing happened I’d give up and get a proper job .
What do you mean ‘not work?’ I will work and work and then become a star. It’s my destiny.
Talent means nothing. It’s all down to that strumpet ‘luck’.
There is so much untapped talent better than me I’m not even bothering
6

Would you cope with the constant unemployment?

Unemployment? Hmm. I’m thinking again
Unemployment? I’ll have another job part time and hope it doesn’t take over my life
Unemployment? I won’t be unemployed I’m too good
I shall treat unemployment as the actor’s lot and not get down if I don’t work very much.
If I don’t become a star I shall kill myself
I dunno I’m not in the business yet
7

Would you rehearse with actors you don’t like and directors you think are untalented?

I will only work with actors I like and talented directors
That’s inevitable. Large numbers of actors are wankers and most directors couldn’t direct
Few actors are unlikeable as they try so hard to be liked so they can work again. All directors are wankers
Whatever kinds of people `I meet I shall be professional and hope they respect me as I respect them. However I have been told to watch out for directors who are apparently wankers.
If that is the case I shall only do one man shows or become a stand up
8

Would you always have enough belief in yourself to keep on going for auditions despite your never getting any of them?

Yes I am the best actor I know. Mind you I don’t know any others
I would keep going until I get my break and I shall get my break. I shall. I SHALL
It would break my heart. Excuse me while I jump off this handy cliff
All directors are wankers
My time will come. I will go up for a job and it shall all fall into place
1.Always. That’s what I have to do when I start. People need to see my work
9

Would you appear naked?

Try and stop me
Never. I hate my body.
Despite hating my body I would do anything for my art
Is there anyone else naked with me?
Can everyone be naked?
How about if the girl is naked and I’m not?
Would I get more money?
10

Would you fight another actor in the street if he had upstaged you?

Yes the bastard deserves all he gets for that heinous of crimes
Narr I’ll get him back on stage
No I’ll fight him in the dressing room
I don’t believe in violence so would get someone else to do it for me
Upstaging is a creditable way of behaving and if was upstaged and allowed myself to be upstaged I deserve to only play small roles
Fight him? I’ll kill him and tear out his liver and eat it thus gaining his talent
I would try and use the anger and pain of the fight in a future production
11

Would you get friends to physically intimidate another actor in order to prevent him from going to a casting if you knew he might get the job?

Always. And persuade him to give up acting
No he might not get the part even though he’s perfect
Never. That would be low and cruel
Yes. It’s every man for himself. Besides if I get the part it might be the first step on the greasy pole to stardom
Prevent him?
12

Would you research a character for weeks even if it meant becoming a character you loathed?

I hate every character I play.
I’d try and love my character so this wouldn’t arrive
Being cheese is no bad thing with the right motivation
Villains get good roles. Bring em on!
I hate cheese but will make an exception to make the piece work
13

Would you kiss someone of your own sex and weren’t gay?

if it meant that he play worked, of course
No it’s repellent and I would like to swill some disifectant
Every time. It would enhance my knowledge of young people
I kiss someone of my own sex every day down on the towpath
If it meant working of course I would
14

Would you let yourself be covered in dung from head to foot if the character demanded it?

Why dung? Why not
No. But elephant poo now you’re talking
Of course. Anything for the play
Yes. I must stretch myself every time
I am covered in dung at the moment
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